So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
It's blow job season.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize