eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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