somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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