I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
