Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
