How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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