We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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