Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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