i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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