Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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