I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
