I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
