Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
