That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize