At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
