so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Randomize
