69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
