Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
