My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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