3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
