he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
