I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
