it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
