HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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