I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize