Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
