I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
