apparently the secret to your success is patron
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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