so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
