I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
This house was built for laser tag.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Can I color on your dick again?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
