I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
