Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
