you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
