you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
