It's a beautiful day for a hangover
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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