is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
