i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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