i think my tv is drunk
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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