Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
