I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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