Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
