do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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