Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
