Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
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