every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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