I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
