so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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