Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
