I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
