Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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