ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
