What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I queefed so loud it echoed.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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