just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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