im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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