I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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