Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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