I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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