Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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