I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
