Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
wow bdsm is so cute
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
