grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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