Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Randomize
