Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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