i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
