sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
