Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
