I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
