Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
