She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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