If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
barbara walters just said penis...
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
