that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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